2020 has been nothing short of bizarre. Surprising, exhausting, eye-opening, frustrating, and yet somehow…hopeful. I’ve spent more time in the word and in prayer than I ever have. I’ve spent more time with my precious family than I ever have. It’s been challenging and sweet and everything in between.
Somewhere along the way, during afternoons of quiet time, crying out to Jesus, long conversations with Scott, and finding my voice again after a season of not singing, the Lord made something very clear to me.
My time in ministry is not over.
While I don’t know when and how that promise will come to fruition in the future, I do know that the Lord has also called me to use this time of being at home to prepare myself for what’s to come. But first, a bit of context…
Scott and I got married when I was 19 and babies came along shortly thereafter. That being said, my college education was put on the back burner while I poured myself into being a wife and mom to two, young children. Once I picked up a camera a few years after they were born, school quickly became a distant memory, but it some ways, always a goal I was never able to achieve. As an Enneagram 3, this has bothered me for most of my adult life. It’s something my incredible therapist and I began talking about this past Spring.
“What do you want for yourself in the future? What has lit your heart on fire the most?” she posed, my mind spinning at the thought of looking into the future when the present seemed so thick. So heavy.
I base a lot of my thinking and planning around our new baby and what he may need. “When the baby is done nursing I can…when the baby is napping I will…when the baby is old enough for school I will be able to…” While Scotty needs much of me in the next year or two, I know how Jesus wired me. I know how futuristic my spirit is, I know that building something in a quiet season prepares me for what’s to come. I know that He has called me to so much more than I ever thought possible. I know that none of my business accomplishments, achievements, or accolades will ever compare to the precious work I did while I was in ministry. I know that leading people to Jesus brought me more joy than any business-related adventure ever has.
What does this mean? I’m so glad you asked. I’m now using this season to prepare myself for what’s next.
I’ve gone back to school!
It feels odd to say that but here we are. I’m a 36-year-old wife and mom-of-4 who is bound and determined to finally get her degree. The Lord placed Grace Christian University in my life this past winter and the rest was history. I’m on my way to a bachelors degree in Ministry and Leadership with an emphasis in Pastoral Studies. It will take time, but time I have. I’ll graduate before Scotty is 3 years old.Today, I finish my first semester and have enjoyed the experience tremendously! From admissions counselors to professors and everyone in between, Grace has been a huge blessing.
I don’t know when, where or how the Lord will call me back into vocational ministry, but I know he will. My God made me a promise and he won’t stop now. I’m excited about the future and open to his leading. I know that Jesus has given me influence and leadership abilities. He has also gifted me in many creative areas. Beyond all of that, though, I know that he’s given me a heart for his people and for his church. The future is bright, indeed.
I’d appreciate your prayer as I continue on this new journey: prayer for diligence, wisdom and a heart that will be open to the next calling God has on my life. As always, thanks for being here, sweet friends.